How can I be a single parent and still be “me”? with Danusia Malina-Derben
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We just couldn’t wait to share this one with you.
Danusia truly is a single and mighty parent.
She became a single parent during a pregnancy with triplets. She made the bold decision to get out of a dangerous situation and lead life on her own terms.
And did she ever.
After earning her PhD while parenting young children, Danusia is now a sought-after consultant, working with some of the world’s biggest brands. She’s an author, speaker, and an inspiration to women worldwide.
She’s a solo parent of 10, seven of whom are now grown. She also knows what it means to raise neurodivergent, gifted children with additional needs.
“I’m the kind of single parent that has 24/7 responsibility.”
“I want to stress the incredible opportunities that being a single parent brings. It’s tough, of course, but being untethered to demands and constraints of someone else can be wonderful. I have been able to accomplish so much because I’m a solo parent.” – Danusia Malina-Derben
Her critically acclaimed School for Mothers Podcast challenges old narratives and practices that limit the potential of individual mothers as their own people.
Danusia tells us, “I was able to do this NOT because I’m superwoman but because I’ve an army of staff. But how do we realise our own potential while holding space for our children as they grow into themselves?”
It’s a tough road sometimes, but growing into our own potential is worth it.
About her work, she says, “This is far more than a call for self care. It’s cutting out the noise about what it takes to be a mother and disallowing our culture to either mother-stop us or father-stunt us.”
We can’t wait to see what’s next for Danusia.
Books & resources from this episode:
Danusia’s written two exciting, culture-changing books and is host of the School For Mothers podcast, currently rebranding as the Parents Who Think debate show.
Books:
NOISE: A Manifesto Modernising Motherhood (Triumph Press 2021), a book that unflinchingly flips conventional thinking surrounding motherhood on its head.
And next, SPUNK: A Manifesto Modernising Fatherhood (Triumph Press 2022) focused on fatherhood identity in this challenging and fast changing world.
Find Danusia Online:
Highlights from this episode
(00:02:14 – 00:05:21): Danusia discusses her path to becoming a single parent, emphasizing the choice for her and her children’s safety. “I got to being a single parent by making a choice…about the safety of my children.”
(00:05:21 – 00:07:38): She talks about the empowerment and autonomy found in being a single parent. “I’ve actively stayed single…it is an act of rebellion. As women, it’s a revolutionary act to choose to be single.”
(00:07:50 – 00:09:58): Danusia values the autonomy of being single, enabling her to make decisions without needing approval from a partner. “Autonomy. I do not have to refer to anybody…I don’t have to explain myself.”
(00:17:00 – 00:19:31): She discusses societal pressures and expectations placed on women, particularly single mothers. “We are…seen as dangerous women when we are not tethered to a man.”
(00:31:00 – 00:32:45): Danusia encourages single parents to pursue their passions and create fulfilling lives regardless of their relationship status. “It’s about choosing your own needs…settling isn’t worth it at any cost.”
(00:32:45 – 00:34:56): Danusia talks about her books, “Noise” and “Spunk,” which explore modern motherhood and fatherhood, challenging traditional narratives. “Noise…is the underpinning myths about what it takes to be a mother and to be yourself still.”
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